That Gangsta Azz Relative…

                  Most people call them the Black Sheep of the family but the Hall’s tend to call ours “Dat Gangsta Azz Relative” of the family… You know the one that as soon as they step out of the car and into a family function, chanting, “Yawl Mawphuckas know whut time it iz cuuuh” while twisting their fangahs in a peculiar way. There’s no denying that we do not love our relative but there is also a time and a place for such catchphrases. Some might say that my brother Orlando is the gangsta relative of the family. I would have to agree with them. There was a time when he did not carry this persona on being the certified gangsta that he is or, as some would say; whom he portrays… All I know is that I have witnessed a few occasions of his mannerisms in public.

                 Have you ever seen a thug cry and bounce back into thug mode as if nothing has ever happened? Well I have and I almost passed out, given the situation we were in… You see, the good Lord blessed me with 4 amazing brothers in which I have mentioned in a previous blog. Our family has endured so much pain with the loss of 2 of my siblings within years of each other. My brother Ron passed away back in September ’05 while my other brother Tim passed in March ’12… During these bereavements, Orlando which is the oldest, showed da Phuck Out!!! Excuse my French Montana, but by the time you finish reading this, you’ll understand why… Ron was a misunderstood guy; loved his son more than anything in the world. He was very tough, he had his moments in life; i.e. prison, drugs, etc… but anyone that really knew him, they knew he would take the shirt off his back for anyone in need. Tim was a lively guy; fun loving father; and a comedic genius, a humanitarian to sum it all up. So when they passed on, this hurt the family immensely, especially my brother Orlando.

               Thuggin’ was no secret at this point and the morticians at Davis’ funeral home was gonna find out first hand… Moving forward to the 2nd passing of my brother Tim; Orlando was very distraught. It was just Tim, Orlando, the mortician, and I in the room at the time and I was preparing my brother to go home in style, you know, typical edging of his hairline and beard he had b/c he was a dapper guy and he would do it for me. Now during this time, Orlando was pacing and tears were flowing from his face asking God why did he have to take his baby brother. The mortician was doing an outstanding job to ensure that peace remained in the room; “Yes, I understand sir, umm hmm, I’m so sorry for your loss” while making eye contact with Orlando. Well that peace turned into thug mode in a matter of seconds!!! Orlando starts to clap his hands while he talks and the mortician senses something isn’t right here so he gradually backs up towards the exit door. Orlando wasn’t about to do anything to him, he just wanted to tell him about his two brothers. “Dis is my second brotha dat has passed away, you feel me cuuh? My brotha Ron already in Heaven and my brotha Tim, is on his way. You see, Tim right here cuz is a comedian and my brotha Ron is a fool with it (gangsta). Tim up durr telling jokes and shyt while my ova brotha Ron up durr robbing muthafuckas” Now I am on bended knee, edging Tim up and my knees buckle and I say in my Kevin Hart voice “Whoa; wait a minute, In Heaven dawg? Naaawwww man, don’t say dat!!!” The mortician is gone at this time; Orlando says “You know what, dat didn’t sound right did it? I’m like, Hell naw dat didn’t sound right maaannn; get yo ish together b/c this cannot be like Ron’s funeral when you stripped chest naked at the grave site and cussed err body out dawg!!! Talking ‘bout now who else wanna phuck with Hollywood Cold? 


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